Today was an IVIG day for Jackson. He had an increase in a premed, which in the long run should help some of the side effects after the fact, but that increase made today a bit rough. He was completely irritable, grouchy, moody and a little mean. It's hard to do all of this in just a short day (well, long really...by the tier he is accessed it's anywhere from 7-8 hours before he is deaccessed). To say the grouchiness caught me off guard a little would be an understatement because he hasn't had an IVIG day like this in a long time.
The beauty of today came from one of his teachers. This teacher happens to also be a former student of mine, and also Jackson's first nanny (for about a month before she went back to college and her sister took over). With this whole virtual school situation (which for us today during his IVIG was an absolute bust because of MELTDOWNS), she called to let me know she was going to re-tape her lesson from today without and student sharing (if a student asks anything personal like "why do I have an F?" the teacher can't use that part of the lesson on their video because it identifies student personal information) so Jackson (and others, I confirmed) could watch it later and catch up.
We got to talking a little and she started talking about the plans she has for Jackson as a student in her program. And not only that, but also for Addison down the road if she joins the program also. She said that for the kids she knows well (like Jackson and Addie...she has seen them grow up), she has big plans for them. Plans to help them not only succeed, but to find their place and their voice. She has a spot. For each one of them. For me to hear that on a day when I feel defeated because getting any sort of school done is a fight ALL THE TIME was exactly what my mama heart needed. She actually said, "Jackson has the stage presence we need. I have big plans for him."
I plan to let her know tomorrow exactly what that meant to me....especially in this pandemic education world right now as he is struggling with freshman year to the nth degree. Frankly, this whole thing sucks. No better words (well, that's not true....but my mom reads this) to describe school right now other than it just sucks. I knew starting high school would be a challenging transition for Jackson. Add in his health situation (which tanked earlier in the school year than usual) and right now he is like a salmon swimming upstream in the Alaskan waters (Jackson would LOVE the analogy). To make matters even worse, he fights himself.
I hope that now he has another immune boost on board it will help him have a bit of a break to at least find a rhythm. Addie fought hers and she's getting in the groove now which has made life so much easier for her. Hopefully, Jackson will follow suit.
Even if he doesn't find that groove right away, I know he truly does have people in his corner who see what I see. People who are able to hold him accountable and who know he truly can talk his way out of anything. His teacher can see this as a gift she can use in her program. So as he is arguing with me because I know he will, I am going to continue to remind myself that there is a plan. Her's. Mine. Jackson's. But above all of our plans, is God's plan. And today, I choose to believe God gave me the glimpse of hope I needed to not only get through but find joy in our day.
