Perfectly unique and uniquely perfect!

Dear Jackson,

This school year has been one of discovery for us. We knew there would be some challenges transitioning from a preschool with 5 kids to a kinder class of 32. We didn't know, though, what those challenges would look like. Jackson, you have always been a busy kid. You have always been full of energy and life. You always will. You have always been friendly, and with that, don't always recognize the need for a personal space bubble because in your world, your personal space bubble tends to include others.

As kinder started, you began to chew on your shirt (a lot). I always packed extra shirts, but you didn't want to change at school, always saying it didn't bother you. We, your dad and I, wondered if it was bullies or anxiety. We met with your teacher, the school counselor, and your principal. Everyone was helping us figure out what the cause was. You were also having trouble sitting in your seat all day. I get it, I have trouble at times sitting in my seat, but this was starting to disrupt your learning....which we have to nip before it becomes a problem. Your principal helped us out and had an assortment of seats we brought home one weekend to try out. They go on your regular seat, but allow you a little movement in your chair so you can stay in your seat. Guess what? It helped! You love the red one with smooth bumpies on it. In fact, you took it with you one day when there was a fire drill. You've done a much better job of staying in your seat, and the chewing has even gotten better. Now, instead of chewing down your shirt, you usually chew on the zipper of your jacket.

You are very scheduled, and do well with it. When something in your world is different, that doesn't always work out. One day, Kelly called me because you started melting down in the morning at school. I came, and was actually with Susan and she came too. You were in full bore tears, red faced and all. Broke my heart! Turns out, you wanted to go home because dad was home sick. In your world, when dad is home, it's a hang out day. So even though you knew dad was sick, you still thought you should be there because he was home. We finally got you back to class, and Susan and your teacher were able to get you engaged in helping someone else.

You are a great helper. Lately, you have been bringing your books to school to share during your reading time. You let other kids in class look at your books. We had to limit you to 3 a day though because one got misplaced for a while and you almost melted down. We have a lot of meltdowns at home. Mainly with me, which makes me sad. Sometimes I feel like I am not doing a good job as your mom because I seem to get the worst of it. I know that's not true, and we keep working through your meltdowns.

You tend to bump into others right now. You've been doing it in line at school since the beginning, and we saw it at soccer also. Susan explains that you need more stimulus to "ground yourself" whereas the rest of us are there. It's like trying to stay awake when driving. Sometimes people will roll down the window, blast the air and music. You need all of that to feel the way I feel without it.

We are working on figuring out the reason behind your behaviors. But I need you to know that it is not because we think anything is wrong with you. And Jackson, you need to hear this ALL THE TIME. You are smart and perfect as you are! We also are not looking for, nor will ever allow anything that we find out, to be an excuse for behaviors. But, we do have to find a way to help you deal with your uniqueness so that you can succeed in school and ultimately in whatever you decide to do, because you can do ANYTHING! Our expectations will not be lower, in fact, they may be higher because we know there will be times you will have to work a little harder.

Jackson, you are perfectly unique and uniquely perfect! You always will be. Never let anyone make you feel like you have to change who you are. The world is a circle, and you are a star, so we just have to cut out a star from the world. I never want you to feel like you can't do something, and right now, you don't see things that could interfere later. That's not your job, that's our job. We are doing everything we can to help you learn the skills you need to be successful just as you are. And remember Jackson, you are our uniquely perfect star!!!!

We love you to the ends of the earth bugaboo!!

Love,
Mom