Asking for help is hard

Dear Jackson and Addison,

One of the life lessons that I hope you learn earlier than later is that asking for and accepting help can be one of the hardest, but most important things to be able to do. You will have to do this in all aspects of life, usually over and over again. I hope that you are able to have the wisdom to know you need help before whatever the situation becomes huge. I often talk with students at school about this and we talk about how it takes a stronger person to ask for help and accept it than to try and do everything alone. Life just doesn't work that way. 

This is coming up now because this is our summer of help. In many ways, we should have asked a long time ago. But thinking about it, we did. Now we just need different help. Addie, you are going to Sylvan for some help with reading. We did various things throughout the school year, and they all helped. But we want you to feel confident in your abilities and we know that as the school year ended, you didn't have confidence. But dad and I have seen your confidence grow just in the few sessions we have gone. We are hopeful that as we near the end of summer and school starts up, you will continue to build your confidence. And sweetheart, if that means we continue this we will. But we knew we needed more help that your dad and I had. Sometimes it takes an outside person/perspective to help move things along.

Jackson, we are getting help for you and our family. This is complicated because it's hard to talk about it. But we need more help teaching you coping skills. We need more help to help you learn to navigate the ever changing social world, especially as you see it. We need help. Going into the end of the school year and the start of summer, both daddy and I were a bit fearful of how our summer was going to go. At that time, you were taking a med for ADHD which was definitely helping. But it was also hurting. When we started this, the positives outweighed the negatives. But we decided to try without once school ended because it was possible that this med was contributing to our difficult and extremely trying afternoons/evenings. Since we stopped the med, things around our house have gotten so much smoother. You are happier, "more alive" as you have put it. On the one hand, I feel terrible that we didn't stop it before...but we didn't know. We made the best decision at the time with what we knew. Now, we know different, so we are choosing different.

Stopping this med has brought about different conversations with you, about Autism, ADHD and how your brain works. We've been able to talk about what meds you take and what they are for and come to some decisions together. It's also empowered you to realize that "it's not your fault." God made you perfect just the way you are, it's a gift. Right now, you told me this gift "is like getting underwear for your birthday." And yes, it can be. But that is why we are going to start working with a Psychologist who can help you understand how you think, develop coping skills and continue to empower you. He will also be able to work with dad and I so we are making the best decisions we can, while supporting you, your sister and one another. He understands that when you're not feeling well, everything is worse. He can't fix it, but hopefully he can help.

That's what we are after. Help. Jackson and Addison, knowing when to ask for help will be a huge strength for you and will help you more than you know. We love you and pray that as we continue to put our help in place all of us are able to embrace it to it's fullest.

Love, Mom